Singlespeeding, bitching and beer.

Bike: Crosslight
Distance: 32 miles

Another failed ride. Rained a lot, got bogged down in some horrible ground across the moors, gears started playing up and couldn’t fix them, gave up and came home.

Bike: Langster
Distance: 23 miles

INtended to go for a big long offroad ride but it’s been raining on and off all day, really couldn’t bothered until late afternoon. Still plenty of rain and so busy on the roads. Got bored with dodging traffic and went home.

Bike: Crosslight
Distance: 35 and 52 miles

Both pretty good rides. First was a fast roadish sprint, second was a hard core offroad fun fest. Legs hurt for a while after that one.

Bike: Crosslight
Distance: 8 miles

Yes, yes. I know anything under ten miles doesn’t count but I worked hard for this dammit! Got home early cooked tea right fast, got called out TWICE!, checked some logs, neither were my fault. Set offr for ride. Got 4 fucking miles out and the phone rings. ‘No, we really think it’s down to the firewall, looks like that old problem which has happened once in 6 months so it must be the firewall, can you reboot it?’ Fuck’s sake, yes ok, I’m on my way back. Light speed back. 22mph average over 4 miles, mostly uphill.

Wheel my bike into the drive, phone rings, it’ll just be them complaining so I pack the bike away, fire the laptop up, listen to voice mail. ‘Oh, actually, it wasn’t the firewall after all. sorry’.

Great.

Bikes: Langster and Crosslight
Distances: 45 and 26 miles

Good day. Nice and warm. Went out for a fast sprint on the Langster, mostly incident free. Thenwent to the flower show at Tatton park where we were the youngest people there. Then got back, had a nap and went out for a nice offroad blast in the evening sun. Great. Only really marred by some cocks coming down the AICR who started hurling abuse after their oh so hilarious joke was met with a stony stare.

Bike: Langster
Distance: 34 miles

Wonderful and lovely incident free ride in the warm sun. Oh no hang on, that was the eutopian dreamI was having before I went out for a ride. Fuck me, what brings the cocks out on Saturday morning?

Cock 1: Blind fucking bitch who has been given a driving license pulled out of B&Q right in front of me. I swerved to avoid and then slammed my hand on her bonnet.

Cock 2: I signalled nice and early to turn left, bloke behind thought this was his cue to get past and overtook me on the corner. And cut it…. and then saw me in his mirror…well he probably saw my forearm tendons in his mirror because they were so pumped up from yanking on the brakes massively… so he fucking well moved over!!!!????

Cock 3: Overtook me on a mini-roundabout…errm, well yes. I could have quite easily let off a single 45mm round into his temple from the distance we were apart… EXCEPT I DON’T TRY TO FUCKING WELL KILL PEOPLE!!!!!

Cock 4: We’re into Bolton now. Bloke tried three times to get away from me but the lights kept holding him up. No problem there but then at one set, he threw a cigarette out the window at me. Not the drivers window where he was, but he must have made the effort to wind down the passenger window, and threw it out that one!!!! I tried to catch him, but sadly he jumps lights.

Cock 5: Now we’re in the country side in Haigh. Nothing can go wrong here…. I come round a corner to find a bloke driving the wrong way towards me and he’s not even looking forwards. I suggest he pay more attention, or ‘FUCKING WANKER!!!’ which is the standard expression and nearly shit myself.

Then I got home and played golf. Not real golf, that would be silly, but driving range golf. My son is interested and wanted me to take him so we got fifty balls each. I have to say, getting a good swing is strangely satisfying. On the last few shots I had stopped slicing and was clearing 100 metres. I’ll never been seen walking round a golf course but the driving range is quite fun if you treat it as a laugh.

Bike: Langster
Distance: 35 miles

Lovely morning ride. I tried yesterday morning but that was after going two days without sleep and I fell off on the drive so gave it a miss. this morning I was still pretty tired but struggled on manfully. I just need a few days in bed, that should see me right.

Bike: Langster
Distance: 32 miles

That’s better! Nice and sunny, little wind, riding fast. Good ride although I set off a bit late to get some decent mileage in.

Riding down through Leverhulme I lost count of the number of near misses I experienced but worthy of mention was a hairdresser in his jeep (his name and number were plastered all over the back of it) who cut me up and then weaved down the road while still on his mobile, went over the green cycle tarmac at the lights and eventually stopped after the cycle section. Next was the chap who passed me at light speed and then had to brake so hard to turn left he locked up the nearside rear wheel. I had to brake too of course to avoid him but obviously what happens in my life is completely fucking irrelevant. Bolton centre is seemingly developing a gang fetish too, There are now numerous groups of aggressive looking lads wandering about with their hoods up doing that silly walk with their underpants on show. No doubt all knived up to the eyeballs too.

Bike: Langster
Distance: 45 miles

Don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just can’t be arsed. Had loads of opportunity to go for a massive ride this morning but came back early. Then I had plenty of time in the afternoon but still didn’t bother. Life, it seems, is not entrancing me with it’s baubles at the moment.

In other news I got a shiny new p-series filter kit with an nd grad filter. Lots of pictures I’ve seen using these things look amazing, but after some experimentation, it turns out it’s still just as hard to take good pictures no matter how much kit I’ve got. These are OK, but not brilliant, more work required.

I think the last one is my favourite but they’re still nowhere near as good as I wanted them to be. Looking at some of the masters (click a picture and then follow the link to Uggla’s photostream to see what I mean) are very good at this. I see that he uses a few more filters too to keep the light down and allow longer exposures, and he keeps the shot very clean, might be worth me going to the beach some time and trying again so there’s no clutter in the background.

Edit: In my defence, it was very windy which made the camera move a lot on the tripod and was continually splashing water onto the filter.

Bike: Langster
Distance: 32 miles

GRRRR! See?That’s 70 miles in one day, on a work day no less! Take that, mileage deficit. I enjoyed this mornings ride but tonight was just a chore. Which is no good at all.

IN other news Jenn has finished the GDR. The first woman ever to finish it. Absolute respect, well done Jenn.

In other, other news, our puppy, has managed to get oil on her head by bargnig into my bike chain, and oil on her paw by jumping up at me when I had oil on my leg. I’m not in the wife’s good books at the moment.